The Goo Goo Muck

I was in the back of a city car being driven to a drug test. This was my third time getting tested in about a year. This meant that inst...

"Looks like we got the Honeymoon Suite," said my co-worker. "You're crazy," I replied. "It's just a nice ...

I'm not the greatest mathematician. If you've ever watched me try to calculate a tip or figure out how much longer a movie lasts, yo...

For a fundamentally lazy person, I've always gotten along fairly well in the working world. My first real job was bagging groceries, and...

I was in the back of an ambulance as a Florida State fan/paramedic tried to convince me that Bobby Bowden was the greatest college football ...

A few weeks ago I'm at a training session at work. I'm waiting in line to sign the roster to get the all-important training credit (...

Many were in the running for the Goo Goo Muck's coveted Person of the Year. Perhaps that new Pope? The President or First Lady? A posthu...

I do a lot of outreach as part of my job. It's actually pretty fun. I go to health fairs and retirement homes and senior centers and tel...

Back at the old Main Library we had a number of regular downtown residents we encountered on a regular basis. Some we liked, some we tolerat...

Part of my job involves talking to old people and service providers on the phone. This might seem funny to those of you who have talked to m...

You know those mornings when you wake up and can already tell that it would be better if you went back to sleep, took a pass on the day and ...

I'm biking to work Tuesday, cruising down the Riverwalk and just digging the water and sky and thinking how much better life is without ...

I have a new job. Well, not a totally new job; I'm still at the library, but I'm back downtown again, down in the basement, just l...

Co-worker talking about strawberry cake: "I eat everything but the pink stuff."

Even though I spent a good amount of time half-assing and wandering around campus, I loved writing press releases for the University of Flor...

Sure, I could try to dredge up some story from my past in the hopes of either getting some laffs or connecting emotionally with you. Possibl...

Sometimes my timing can be excellent. Last month I booked a trip to New York, sort of on the spur of the moment. I was lonely and bored in J...

Security Guard: "I've been thinking all night about who you look like." Me: "Aw, crap." Security Guard: "No, no...

Because of the rain, I've had to drive to work the past two Saturdays. This always sort of throws me off my game, as my daily bike ride ...

The boss was talking to someone close to my little cubicle. Boss: "Scotty's around,* right?" Me: "Yeah, why, were you guy...