I was trying to finish up some work on the desk last week when this fairly haggard looking dude came up. He was missing a couple teeth and smelled like those terrible poor people cigarettes. He was looking for two fantasy authors who between them wrote about 30 different series. Not that big a deal, and the guy was nice enough but after the third “So Crystal Elves comes after Magical Time Wand or does Castle of Mystery come between them” question, I was ready to beam the guy with my 20-sided die. I was helping him the third time when my boss came to the desk to relieve me. The book he was looking for could have been in two different places in the building, so my boss called upstairs while I checked the SF/Fantasy section. When I got back he was gone, on his way upstairs. My boss was laughing.
“What’s so funny?”
“That guy you were helping said you were very helpful.”
“Well, that’s always nice for the boss to hear.”
“He also said you were very cute.”
Nice to know I still got it.
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A good writer avoids using the personal pronoun I
Posts
Stuck in My Head This Week
- "American Girl" - Tom Petty
- "Damaged I" - Black Flag
- "Funk #49" - Joe Walsh
- "I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man" - Prince
- "I Have Always Been Here Before" - Roky Erikson
- "Pervert" - Descendents
- "Superstupid" - Funkadelic
- "Want" - Jawbreaker
Current Book Pile
- Bunk : The Rise of Hoaxes, Humbug, Plagiarists, Phonies, Post-Facts, and Fake News
- Duke : a Life of Duke Ellington
- House of Psychotic Women: An Autobiographical Topography of Female Neurosis in Horror and Exploitation Films
- Limits of the Known
- Superfans : into the Heart of Obsessive Sports Fandom
- To the Edges of the Earth : 1909, the Race for the Three Poles, and the Climax of the Age of Exploration
Current DVD Pile
- The Deuce, Season 1
- The French Connection
- The Taking of Pelham, I, 2, 3
Current Soundtrack
- Afrosound Of Colombia Vol 1 -- Funky, Hot Afro Influenced Tracks From The 60s & 70s Golden Period From Disco Fuentes - V/A
- Historic Moments Vol 2 - Creation Rebel
- Milo Goes to College - Descendents
- Pink Flag, 154, Chairs Missing - Wire
- Technicolor Paradise: Rhum Rhapsodies & Other Exotic Delights - V/A
- Voodoo Drums - Drummers Of The Societe Absolute Guinin
4 comments:
poor people cigarettes? You truly are the Fitzgerald of our times! C. Scott Adams!
I swear that's an actual brand, Poor People Cigarettes. The only thing I know about them other than that fact is that they smell like a wet dog who rolled around in an ashtray.
oh C. Scott! A true literary genius! I can smell 'em now.
I often make reference in conversation to "Hobo's Delight" gin. But I think I stole that from Bender, seeing as by heroes in life include Bender and Quagmire.
That said -- have you ever had Cromwell Gin? I like that it's cheap gin named after a Puritan, but I also like that it costs like $5.99 for a gallon jug. I always assume a spirit is good if 1) it is sold by the jug, and 2) the jug is plastic.
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