For some reason my wife decided Halloween night was the perfect time to go to Target, leaving me all alone to hand out candy. Away from her supervision, I got to be the Halloween Judge.
We get carloads of kids with no costumes driven into the neighborhood who don't even say 'trick or treat,' they just knock on the door and stand there. Well tonight I wasn't having it. And seriously? Murray Hill? That's the neighborhood you're going to for the big candy payoff?
Knock Knock Knock.
"Who are you supposed to be?"
"Uh...ourselves?"
"Yeah, you can do better than that."
SLAM
Actually in the beginning I was a bit more lenient and would just give them some of the crappier candy after my psyching them out but once the candy supplies started running low I had to administer some Halloween justice. Christie came home and said that some of the kids could have been poor and couldn't afford costumes, but hell, they can put a bag over their head or something.
And nobody did anything to the house, so looks like my rod of correction taught those kids a lesson, even though I swear some of them were like 19 years old.
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I take it even further -- they get crap candy unless they're dressed up as a monster or something scary and appropriate for Halloween. And if you come in one of those ironic or conceptual costumes, or as a stapler or something, you get squat.
Also, remember how kids in the 80s dressed up as kids from the 60s? Well, I know how that was for my parents now, because there were tons of kids from the 00s dressed as kids from the 80s. I gave them candy if they could tell me what Chess King was.
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