Neither a Mover or a Shaker

Waiting to leave work Monday night I see a couple co-workers passing around the newest "Library Journal."

"Did you know you're in this?"

"Who, me? Get out of here."

"No, seriously, look. See, honorable mention, 2008's Mover and Shaker."

"That can't be me. It's gotta be my nemesis, that Dilbert guy. Wait, Jacksonville, Florida. That's gotta be me."

I didn't know they gave out awards for playing on the internet at work, but I was certainly going to accept. And you know, after thinking about it, it's about time I got recognized for my work. Maybe it was for my kick-ass ordering. Maybe my programs. Possibly my firm, yet loving guidance over my staff. Whatever it was, I totally deserved it.

Oh, things are going to change from now on. Boring staff meeting? "I don't need this, I'm Library Journal's 2009 Mover and Shaker!" Transfer me to another branch? "Do you really want to transfer Library Journal's 2009 Mover and Shaker to a branch? Do you realize what my friends in the ALA are going to say?"

I wonder if I get any money with this award? Maybe a new car? Hell, even an amazon gift card would be nice.

And I'd be dropping that little nugget around women all the time. I mean, if that doesn't impress the ladies, I don't know what will.

The next morning I'm making a copy of the page to send to my parents and grandmas when I notice that I was being recognized for nominating someone else, not for any moving and shaking I did. Yeah, I was still up there at the top of the page, but that's a whole different thing.

So when did they stop teaching reading comprehension in library school?