Must...Not...Make...Comment

Co-worker talking about strawberry cake:
"I eat everything but the pink stuff."

Signs, Signs, Everywhere A Sign

Saw a well-dressed but odd looking guy leaving the library this morning holding a cardboard sign, the kind that usually say "Will work for food" or "Homeless vet, please help."

This guy's said (in all caps, naturally):


SLANDERER
MISERABLE
LIAR


Don't know if it was court appointed or his, or if he was just borrowing it from a friend.

Don't Leave Home Without It

Overheard on the way to work:

30ish man getting into car with kid. 30ish woman in doorway of house says,

"Honey, are you taking the bong?"





OK, she could have said "bomb," either one is pretty funny

Overheard in the Park by Work

One of Our Regulars: "Listen up, listen up, listen up. I hate working. Everytime I get a job I quite it as soon as I can."

Overheard While Eating Downtown

One attorney/city worker looking guy in his 40s to another

"What's wrong with you? It's like you don't even care who won American Idol anymore."

Have You Heard About This New Trend, "Periodicals?" I Do Not Care For It

So I'm in line waiting to check out at the grocery store today. This guy behind me is whistling. Like, totally going to town on the whistling, like the Coltrane of the whistle or something. That's already somewhat annoying, but I let it slide, because of the holidays and all.

As I'm waiting I'm sort of absent-mindedly gazing over at the magazines by the counter. These aren't the Star and Weekly World News or anything, just normal people magazines, like Time and Martha Stewart and what have you. Whistlin' Slim behind me notices me looking at the magazines and says, "I don't know what's crazier, that people actually put this stuff out or that other people buy it."

Overheard in the Publix Parking Lot

"He done spent 20 dollars on fuckin' Mountain Dew in two days."

Overheard Coming Home

Dude rummaging through garbage can: "Because I do not eat off the ground like an animal. LIKE A DOG, MISTER BIKE DRIVING WORK MAN!"

I didn't even realize I was in the conversation.

AP History

For some reason tonight we had a revolutionary war soldier guy in the library. Some kids saw him and yelled out, "Hey Napoleon! Look out for Hitler!"

Overheard Walking to Lunch

Crazy guy to bored looking mailman:
"You ain't the only goddamn fish in the sea!"

This was only a few hours after I saw a guy dressed as a banana walking out of city hall:

Overheard Madness!

Overheard in the parking garage elevator last week:

"I don't care. It has a weapon called 'anal probe.' I don't think that is something a teenager needs to have."


Overheard in line at training day:

"Do you see that woman with the shirt that says 'voodoo?' That's just too much."
Cluck of disapproval from other person in line.
"And have you seen next door (museum of modern art)? They have a portrait of Satan in there."
"I wouldn't doubt it."